Anniversay is approaching, nerves setting in about the half.

This weekend in NYC was AH MAZING! The race on Long Island was so awesome! And even more so that the proceeds go toward my most favorite cause- Breast Cancer!  I also can not thank by work BFF enough for braving her first 5K with me! Love you my Peanut Butter Patti! But its totally been a while since I posted on the blog so here, I will share! Next week is the one year anniversary since I started this journey.  This weekend's run told me that I have not been serious about my training and getting ready for my half in November! Thanks to everyone that had encouraged me and continue to do so!
I am so proud of where I am and continue to see myself going!  Will post pics next week on my journeys anniversary:)

We are all badass strong!! It takes an army!

Over the past couple of days I have gotten the sweetest messages thanking me for encouraging them to start their own journeys to a better person for themselves! The truth is that I am so humbled by all the words and comments! They keep me going!

If there is one thing that I have learned, out of many lessons is that this is not a journey of one! We all have to build each other up! We have to celebrate the victories, however small we may think they are! ANY victory is HUGE! It should be celebrated, shout it from the roof tops! We are all badass in our own ways and it take any army or strong badass people to get to our goals!!! Thanks u so much from the bottom of my heart for all that my peeps have done for me, and continue to do on a daily basis! It keeps me lacing up those shoes and putting one foot in front of the other even when I don't feel like it!!! 

While running is good for me, it has also become my therapy! I lose myself in my steps and the beat

Of the music! Find ur therapy, and roll with it! 

Cooper River Bridge, Charleston SC

This weekend was awesome!!! Not only did I get to enjoy the low country, see Hootie and the Blow Fish but also got to run the famous Cooper River Bridge!! It was tough!! It was HOT and Humid, but did it never the less!! Can't wait until April to run it with thousands!  Goals!!! I got them! And I'm working toward them!

Garmen failed and oh the hills.....

Today my hood runner Autumn Nelson and I ran the Doodle Trail 5K. DUDE!!! Nobody said anything about the hills! Lol But we finished! Moving past the disappointment of my Garmen failing me and don't know my actual miles time, I feel accomplished to have another race under my belt!!!!

My time was less then 37 min, which is my 5K! Butnthe times don't matter! I FINISHED!

My journey. Raw truthful emotions....

Raw, never more true words or emotions! Prob more then any of u bargained for when u asked about my journey! BUT here goes, maybe journaling about this will help my recently hurt feelings! - I recently felt scolded by someone that should always love me since birth, thinking that I had had weight loss surgery to obtain my goal. I won't lie, I did think about it. But felt in my heart that I could do it on my own!  Never anything wrong with those that need the help to start! I applaud the tough choice that was and is! Instead of saying wow-u look awesome, I was made to feel like it was a bad thing! Well, guess what, that's what started this whole journey for MYSELF! Not for anyone else! Around August or September of last year, I started to realize that I wasn't myself, others noticed too- and had not problems telling me. I blew it off but then I started to notice things about myself, they were right! I needed a change! The way I was feeling physically and mentally was not healthy or safe! A good friend became a certified personal trainer and began posting about her services. I messaged her for a meeting and when she said I would have to run, I laughed! Not unless something big and scary is chasing me! lol I had to do something, so I said, I'll give it a try! It wasn't until 2 weeks in that I actually told people what I was doing! For fear they would think, well, it won't last! I didn't need those negative thoughts, I was already beating myself up enough! I also made an appt with a family practitioner, because I know I needed more help then what exercise could offer me! Reluctantly I started a low dose antidepressant, over time it seemed to help some.  I severally needed something to control for me! Work sucked, kids lives so incredibly busy and feeling like I was drowning, and as I reached the top I felt like I was being pushed down further and further! What could I control? My diet and exercise! And that was it! It became my me time. My time to blare my music and not think or to think and cry it out. What I needed that I didn't realize I didn't have in the past!  As the miles moved up and the weight was coming off, I could feel myself feeling better! People were noticing! People were encouraging me! People humbled me. Words of u are inspiring me....me?!?! That was never my intention. I posted to hold myself accountable to staying on the path of a better me!! I can't even begin to tell you how amazing it feels to know that I have so many people behind me, supporting me! BUT I don't know that it will still ever be enough! Most days I do feel great! Some days I feel like I did back in October before I started. I love buying clothes I could not have even for in in high school and the compliments-woooooow! U want to see a girl blush: compliment me! Lol

So the physical journey:

I started out with 2 slim fast shakes a day and very little to no carb dinners. A lot of water and fiber and fruit snacks during the day. 

I was VERY strict at first, as not to "fall off the wagon"! Now I do one to two premier shakes a day that I purchase at Walmart but hear the u can get in bulk cheaper at Costco. I don't have a card! Lol if there is a craving I have, I allow myself a bite of two to satisfy that want. 

As far as running! My amazing trainer Crystal Owens started me with the C25k app! Free to ur phones FYI! At first I couldn't do it-30 secs without stopping. Holy crap! I needed an oxygen tank. But over time! I did a mile, I did two and oh my god before I knew it, I ran my first 10k last week! That's 6.2miles----without stopping! I never had any intention on running any races, but as I learned to run, yes learned, I felt like I needed it for my own validation! So I've done a couple local races and most recently my 10k in my most favorite city with the Statue of Liberty into site the whole time! It was more then a race for me, something I don't know I could put into words. It was what I needed to know that I am worth it! I am worth being selfish with my time and needs!  In November I will be running my first half marathon! That's 13.1 miles! Oh my god! Pray for my knees and my sanity as I begin training! 

Just to put it out there. From nov 1-march30, I was down 48 pounds and like 5 jean sizes. I don't know my current weight because I don't want to focus on a number! I feel amazing. Actually can say most days I like the way I look. 

And again, this may not be as much specific info or way too much but thanks to tho that have asked for me to share my journey and for all the amazing support and love along the way. 

Official time and pics from my run.....

Nobody ever likes to see pics of themselves, but I'm proud of these! And my official time, I wasn't first but I def wasn't last! I was close but I don't care-I finished!

Last day:(

Well, today is my last day in the city, sigh! The trip started 4'days ago, by myself! I was nervous and excited, and a lot of other emotions I can't put into words! I was looking forward to my run-my first 10K, not looking forward to meals by myself, but I did it all! 

On the advice of my good Facebook buddies, I sat at the bar, had drinks, ate my amazing meals, and met some really nice people! You know, I totally turned on my southern charm😜 And you know I can the wallpaper off the wall anyway! Haha.

 On Tuesday morning after a very restless night, like a kid on Christmas Eve, I put on my running outfit and shoes and headed out on the Downtown #1 train to the South Street seaport stop and then boarded the ferry across to Governors Island to patiently await the start of my race. Yeah, this girl has no patience for ANYTHING! Lol and It seemed like a long wait! Text messages, and Facebook messages coming thru to cheer me on just fueled my excitement! Was I about to do this?!?! Run my first 10K, did I just spend the last 2 nights in my most favorite city alone?!?! Hell yeah I did!!! I was ready to kick some running ass! The feeling of getting closer and closer to the finish line, well, it just pushed me even harder!!! I worked hard for this! I worked hard for myself! I worked hard on ME!!! And 1hr14min later, I was done! It was hard! It was easy! It was emotional! It was for ME!!!!! I did it for ME!!!! 

The first part of this trip taught me a lot about myself and what I am capable of! Yeah, I know the city, and how to get around, but it was worth so much more!!! 

Later in the week I got an email from Angus about how he was ready to come home and how he missed Elena, and she literally just left him in Panama. I told him that we have to learn how to spend time alone, to find ourselves, to listen to our thoughts and reflect on what we want and need to do! I found myself doing a lot of this on this trip! I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, listened to music until my earbuds died, but somewhere in these travels I discovered somethings about myself! It is worth it to spend time alone! To dress up and sit at the bar and eat a meal alone-concurring that fear,  and meeting new people! To walk around the city and look at the lights! This trip was worth it all!!!! I know I brought many people with me via social media and via texts and pics, lol Autumn😘! Thanks again for all your support and love of me on this trip, but not just the trip! But my journey since October, it has certainly been a humbling adventure and look forward to many MANY more!!!!!